It’s the stuff of nightmares, but only if you believe in VAMPIRES. A dig at a macabre graveyard has unearthed a Bulgarian vampire pinned to his resting place by a metal spike. The ancient skeleton, identified as a 35 to 40-year-old male from the 13th or 14th century, is only the second ever skeleton with a spike driven near its heart in this way, after one that was found last year in the southern town of Sozopol.
It is thought the man, considered to be a medieval vampire, was spiked through the heart to prevent him from rising at midnight and terrorising the living, during a period when plagues ravaged Europe. The discovery was made at the Perperikon site, in the east of the country, during a dig led by Professor Nikolai Ovcharov, often referred to as the ‘Bulgarian Indiana Jones’. Last year, the professor and colleagues unearthed another 700-year-old male skeleton killed in a similar fashion on holy ground at the Black Sea town of Sozopol. Let us hope discovering vampires does not become habit-forming, for should one actually rise from the dead, he will no doubt demand public relations representation, a book deal, and since Bulgaria is now part of the European Union, inhuman rights protection! Since we live in such litigious times, once Victor the vampire has his teeth capped, he will no doubt look around for someone to sue!
Finally, if any of you happen to come across a medieval vampire skeleton, you might think of selling it to the Weight Watchers Organisation. I hear it is on the hunt for a poster boy for a new weight loss programme. But whatever you do, don’t remove the f**king STAKE!