I’ve always been fascinated by crop circles…the most beautiful natural artwork I have ever seen, but who made them? If it is aliens, then how, and what for purpose? Are there messages to be unencrypted? The designs are so intricate and so precise, how on earth can they be made free-hand, that is to say, without the benefit of expensive, laser-guided machinery? Whosoever is responsible for crop circles, I admire their imagination. Being particularly hirsute, I handed artist girlfriend Sadie an electric hair trimmer and a crop circle calendar and asked her to reproduce one of the designs on my back. What could possibly go wrong? After approximately 25 minutes, Sadie shouted “finished!” I got up and ran over to a mirror only to stare with disbelief at a representation of Wile E Coyote & The Road Runner. The lesson I learned? Never put an electric hair trimmer in a girlfriend’s hand after she’s had a joint!