SPOT WHO IS MISSING!

English: Young Saudi Arabian woman wearing Isl...

English: Young Saudi Arabian woman wearing Islamic clothing, as required by Sharia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

HOORAH, a conference in Saudi Arabia on the topic of “women in society,” but without a single woman in attendance. Women were conspicuous, but only by their absence. Talk about hypocrisy! The conference was reportedly held last year at the University of Qassim and was apparently attended by representatives of 15 countries.

Religious police in the Gulf Kingdom which is governed by Sharia Law only recently lifted a ban on females riding motorbikes and bicycles, as long as they wear the full-length veil and are accompanied by a male relative. Women still can’t drive cars. Furthermore, It is illegal for Saudi women to travel abroad without male accompaniment. They may only do so if their guardian agrees by signing a document know as a ‘yellow sheet’ at an airport or border crossing. In November 2012 it emerged women were being electronically monitored with authorities using SMS to track them and inform their husbands of their whereabouts. However some progress has been made. In 2011 that women were given the right to vote and run for office in municipal elections in 2015. I think the Saudi men have forgotten one thing. None of them would be here if it was not for the hospitality of a womb! Women are not CHATTELS!

GLASTONBURY ‘MUSIC’ FESTIVAL IS AN OXYMORON!

The Glastonbury Festival is the largest open-a...

The Glastonbury Festival is the largest open-air music event in the world (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Crime at ‘Glasto’ is at an all-time low, but not the crimes that occur on stage! The BBC has spent 2 million pounds of licence payers fees in covering the Glastonbury music festival, where, with some exceptions, musicality is conspicuous by its absence. What a talent-free zone! Christ, you can train a monkey to beat a drum! I make sweeter ‘music’ on the lavatory. Glastonbury remains a target rich environment for music-loving snipers…not that I would ever advocate ‘taking-down’ the talentless!

AMNESTY FOR ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS?

BRITAIN ST.

BRITAIN ST. (Photo credit: marc falardeau)

Rising Tory star Nadhim Zahawi, MP for Stratford-on-Avon advocates giving an AMNESTY to 570,000 illegal immigrants. First of all, there are a lot more than 570,000 illegal immigrants in the UK. America has offered amnesty and eventual citizenship to millions of Mexicans. The US of A can absorb them. It is a huge country. Many of the Mexicans do or will work in the agricultural industry. Britain is tiny in comparison. Here jobs are few and far between. I wholly disagree with Mr Zahawi!

POWER IS AN AFRODISIAC!

English: Image of the front door of Number 10 ...

English: Image of the front door of Number 10 Downing Street, the official residence of the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Earlier this month there was a story in the ‘Daily Mail’ concerning the possible political fallout over an affair between two middle-aged, high-profile figures who work at 10 Downing Street. Neither is in the Cabinet, and by the way, the affair is now over. Even if the individuals involved are married to other people, it’s no one’s business but their own so long as while they were playing ‘hide the salami’ it didn’t impact on their professional lives, as I am sure it didn’t. What the hell is the affair anyone’s business but their own? We’ve living in the 21st century for Christ sake! As far as sullying the reputation of politicians in general is concerned, MP’s reputations for honesty and competence is at an all time low anyway! The so-called ‘moral minority’ should shut its big fat mouth!

BRITISH TEENAGER KNIFED 17 TIMES FOR STEALING A KISS!

Accession of Turkey to the European Union

Accession of Turkey to the European Union (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dwayne Ward, 17, remains in intensive care in Marmaris, a popular holiday resort in Turkey. He was stripped naked and stabbed 17 times in his throat, chest, groin, legs and back for daring to steal a kiss from a Turkish girl in a bar. Please explain to me the reason behind the EU wooing Turkey to join out happy little community? We have enough backwards members as it is! Even some of my best friends, British born, but of Turkish extraction fear that Turkey may one day join the European Union. Dwayne Ward’s action may well have been deemed to be cheeky, but he certainly didn’t deserve to be TORTURED!

BROOM…BROOM!

The back-end of a Bugatti Veyron

The back-end of a Bugatti Veyron (Photo credit: marcus_jb1973)

I bet the residents of Knightsbridge will be breathing a massive sigh of relief come the 9th of July, for the young bucks from some of the wealthiest Middle Eastern families who fly in their supercars for the summer in order to get away from the oppressive desert heat will be flying back out for Ramadan. Posing behind the wheels of their brightly coloured Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Porsches, Maseratis, Bugattis and Bentleys while imagining they are real racing car drivers, they create havoc for roughly three months every summer in London by zooming up and down the narrow streets opening their vehicles throaty throttles in the hours of darkness when sensible people are trying to sleep. They race one another and ‘drift’ around corners too. Some of the Gulf boy-racers will have no insurance, no road tax, incorrect registration plates nor even a valid driving licence. The police spend much of their time pulling them over for reckless driving, and sometimes resort to towing away the supercars.

These young man in their twenties, who are fortunate enough to have been born into great wealth, have never done a proper days work in their lives, and probably never will. When not posing in their cars, they can be found buying FAIR-WEATHER friends in up-market bars and clubs by covering everyone’s bar bills, often several thousands of pounds each night.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Brits rely upon Middle East oil, and the fact that boys families own huge chunks of London, including plush hotels, office buildings, private apartment blocks and majority stakes in many public companies, we would no doubt tell them all to F**K RIGHT OFF! Cultured and sophisticated the boy-racers are not. Why if it wasn’t for their fat wallets full of petro-dollars they would be living in a tent in the desert sharing a campfire with a camel. These are not people to be admired, even my wannabes. Anyway, I’m glad I live in the sticks.

ROYALTY HAS ITS PERKS…YOU DON’T SAY!

The Personal Flag of Queen Elizabeth II, used ...

The Personal Flag of Queen Elizabeth II, used in a general capacity within the Commonwealth (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Please spare a thought for her impoverished Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second. Her most gracious Maj no longer receives a penny from the Civil List, but will this year take a 15% cut from Crown Estate profits, amounting to £38 million. How on earth is anyone expected to live on such a paltry amount. Why as soon as I log out, I’m gonna put a five pound note in an envelope and post it off to Buckingham Place, after all, a girl’s gotta eat! I’d hate to think Her Maj will have to go out and shoot her own food!

NETHERLANDS CLOSES EIGHT PRISONS DUE TO LACK OF PRISONERS!

English: Wormwood Scrubs Prison Built by priso...

English: Wormwood Scrubs Prison Built by prison labour 1874-1890. Houses about 1000 prisoners, the largest prison for males in Britain. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As prison populations surge in the UK, with overcrowded cells, repeat offenders and foreign criminals, the opposite is occurring in the Netherlands. The country is actually closing eight prisons because of a lack of criminals, the Dutch justice ministry has announced. Declining crime rates in the Netherlands mean that although the country has the capacity for 14,000 prisoners, there are only 12,000 detainees. Could the Netherlands evaporating prison population be something to do with the decriminalization of certain offences, offences that remain on the statute books in the UK? I’m guessing that there aren’t too many prisoners in the Netherlands serving time for ‘driving-related’ offences, whereas in the UK there are hundreds and hundreds banged up.

POPE ORDERS VATICAN BANK INQUIRY!

Pope Francis met with media

Pope Francis met with media (Photo credit: Catholic Church (England and Wales))

Newly installed Pope Francis has ordered an inquiry into the Vatican bank (known as The Institute for Works of Religion) in order to get to grips with an institution that has embarrassed the Roman Catholic Church for decades. The Vatican bank stands accused of failing to meet international transparency standards on tax evasion and money laundering.

Oh f**k…get ready for one funeral and another erection….ELECTION! Some people might think Pope Francis shouldn’t stick his Catholic nose where it isn’t wanted!

I understand that Catholic priests were once allowed to marry…in the Middle Ages, but this was stopped. Some people say it was to prevent priests passing on inheritances (property) to their off-spring. A penny saved is a penny earned! Thereafter it was celibacy all the way. Weren’t the once powerful Papal Knights eventually slaughtered for their wealth by Vatican assassins? It sounds all very Illuminati! And to think it was the Jews who got the bad press for being tight with money!

Some people believe that the Vatican bank is the dirtiest, most corrupt bank the world has ever known, but I certainly couldn’t comment. Some people have accused the Vatican of providing  RATLINES, the network of escape routes for Nazis and other fascists fleeing Europe at the end of World War II, but I certainly couldn’t comment.  It has been suggested that documents from the Red Cross show that through the Vatican Refugee Commission, war criminals were knowingly provided with false identities…that the Vatican Bank helped members of a brutal, pro-Nazi regime in Croatia hide and launder millions of dollars worth of loot, including gold and jewellery taken from concentration camp prisoners and the proceeds of slave labour, but I certainly couldn’t comment. Good luck Pope Francis in your honest endeavour, it was nice knowing you! It is always possible that Pope Benedict XVl quit his post as pontiff, the first to do so in 600 years, because he didn’t fancy butting mitres with the Machiavellian figures who run the Vatican Bank.

UPDATED: 29/06/13.

A Vatican official was arrested yesterday by Italian police for allegedly trying to bring $20 million into the country from Switzerland aboard an Italian government jet. ‘Accountant’ Monsignor Nunzio Scarano is already under investigation for a money-laundering plot involving the Vatican bank.

UPDATED: 02/06/13.

The head of the Vatican bank Paolo Cipriani and his deputy Massimo Tulli resigned yesterday over the escalating fraud and corruption scandal.

JEWISH SECURITY PATROLS TO PROTECT LONDON MOSQUES?

A Shomrim patrol emblem/shoulder patch circa 1...

A Shomrim patrol emblem/shoulder patch circa 1990’s-present. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The SHOMRIM, (‘guards’ in Hebrew) is a police-trained civilian Jewish community-based citizen patrol group in London. Orthodox Jews who wear badges and uniforms says it wants to help its Muslim neighbours protect their mosques from further arson attacks. The group was started by Jewish New Yorkers angry at lengthy police response times after crimes were reported. The London group was originally established in order to combat anti-Semitic attacks, particularly in the Hampstead Garden Suburb area. I don’t know who initially contacted who, but I doubt it will work out long-term. It is much more likely that members of the Muslim community will take advice, and perhaps after some initial training, form their own protection patrol group.

BRITISH AIRWAYS ALLOW MOBILE PHONE USE DURING TAXIING!

Passing the time at Terminal 5, Heathrow Airpo...

Passing the time at Terminal 5, Heathrow Airport, I took a photo of the plane I was due to take. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Following a U.S. carriers decision to allow airline passengers to use cell phones during taxiing, BA did the same, but now regrets taking that decision. Unfortunately the first such flight that landed at Heathrow ended up with the pilot crashing into an American Airlines jet. The as yet unnamed British pilot allegedly received a phone call from his wife who was occupying a first class seat. “No, no,” she said, “a little to the left…I meant, right!” Backseat drivers are a bloody menace!

WELSH GOVERNMENT ENCOURAGES UNEMPLOYED WOMEN TO ENTER SEX INDUSTRY!

Plaid Cymru

Plaid Cymru (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Wales’ first minister has launched an investigation after a Welsh government backed scheme offered career advice on how to earn mucho denero working in the sex industry.Among the tips offered by the Business Wales website included about how to become a stripper as well as running a lap dancing club and escort agency. They were among hundreds of “start-up business ideas” and said that strippers and lap dancers could “expect to earn an average £232 per evening”, with annual incomes that “can range from £24,000 to £48,000”. And users interested in setting up an escort agency were advised that “the escorts provide companionship to the client when attending events such as a formal dinner or the theatre”.It said clients typically include single businessmen and women who hire an escort to “accompany” them to events and holidays. While it went on to say that was an offence for an agency to “incite escorts to act as prostitutes” the guide went on to provide links to websites offering “transsexual post-operation and submissive escorts”.

The gaffe came to light during first minister’s questions in the Senedd – which saw several opposition parties raise their concerns. Plaid Cymru AM Jocelyn Davies said: “I’m certainly not a prude, but it is hard to understand how the Welsh government can believe it is acceptable to provide information to help women become strippers or run a lap dancing club, which is classed as a sex establishment.” Those remarks were also echoed by Lib Dem Eluned Parrott and Welsh Conservative leader Andrew RT Davies. “The adult entertainment industry is just that – a field that is appropriate for adults, but not one that should be marketed as an aspirational career opportunity to potentially vulnerable young people.” After the issue was raised in the Senedd, the sections about stripping, lap dancing and escort agencies were removed from the site.

There are a lot of things I could say, but what is the point of fuelling the fire? All I will say is this, as far as I am aware, the only complaint the Business Wales website received was from one Patrik Kovaks, entrepreneur, a well-known Eastern European criminal gang leader and sex trafficker. “Placing such advice on a government website is irresponsible. If unemployed Welsh women enter the sex industry in droves it will eat into my own profits. Shame on you!”

I don’t suppose many of the unemployed women in the South Wales borough of Blaenau Gwent are going to grab a stripper’s pole any time soon, for here 1 in 6 adults are hooked on anitdepressants. In Blaenau Gwent the NHS issues almost 10,000 prescriptions for the drug each month, in an area with an adult population of 60,000. And then there are the ‘legal highs,’ designed to mimic the effects of illlegal drugs. Britain remains the biggest market for them in Europe. Yes, you too can get zonked on Zonk!

UP ‘N ATOM YOU LAZY BASTARDS!

Animation showing the leverage action of stand...

Animation showing the leverage action of standard bolt cutters. Moving from enwp (thumbnailable version). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

UK officials intend turning up at the homes of 400,000 of Britain’s most disruptive families to get them out of bed for job interviews and to make sure their children go to school! Alcoholics and drug addicts will be made to go to rehab. The cost to the taxpayer, £200 million. It remains to be seen if it will be money well spent. I suspect much of that money will be spent on loud hailers, battering-rams, water cannon, Taser guns and bolt cutters which will no doubt be used to cut through the handcuffs and chains securing the scumbags to their beds. Up ‘n atom you lazy bastards!