English: Old Bailey, London, from NW, photo by Nevilley 14/6/04 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
My old school friend Allen asked me out for lunch. I was supposed to meet ‘ad man’ Allen Crunch in a gastro pub near his office, a stone’s throw from St Paul’s Cathedral in the City of London. Since the English summer was here to stay, I got off the train at Charing Cross, and walked. Along Charing Cross Road towards The Strand. The Strand to Fleet Street, and Fleet Street towards Ludgate Hill.
Approaching Old Bailey (a street) in which The Old Bailey courts are located, (a place where justice is on occasion dispensed), a young woman came into view. As she approached me from the opposite direction it soon became clear that she was without question the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Thirtyish, 5-9, slim, dark flowing hair, floral dress, exquisite features…I think you get the picture…oh, she had the whitest skin I had ever seen, and the bluest eyes I had ever stared into. Noticing me, my lady of the lake half smiled. I guessed she was saving the other half of the smile for someone else.
I couldn’t help it…as she turned right into Old Bailey, I followed her. Approaching the Court steps, she momentarily stopped, opened a clutch, took out a ribbon, on the end of which was some kind if I.D. badge. All I could spot was the words ‘Jurist,’ and her first name, ‘Prudence.’ Having only recently watched ‘Perfume: The Story of a Murderer,’ I tried to inhale her scent, but my nostrils were bunged up from hay fever, so I can only imagine what the young lady smelled of. Rose petals and peaches perhaps?
Mounting the steps to The Bailey, a sudden gust of wind raised my beloved’s dress above her waist, exposing two exquisite white cheeks. I think I almost stopped breathing, for this was no ordinary working bottom, but a work of art! Then jurist Prudence disappeared inside the building.
Throughout lunch I couldn’t get the young lady out of my mind, and indeed only pretended to listen to ‘Allen on Allen.’
Having arrived back home, I sat in my lounge with my knees together and my arms crossed. ‘Depressed’ was an understatement! To have seen someone so beautiful, and knowing that I would never have her in my arms was just so bloody awful to bear! Praying the trial jurist Prudence was involved in was yet to conclude, I intended returning to The Old Bailey the very next day in order to meet my dream woman. I had only one question for her, and it was this! Did she have such low regard for the British criminal justice system that she refrained from wearing undies to court?