WHAT A ‘FRACKING’ LIBERTY!

no fracking way

In his first Christmas Day sermon, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Reverend Justin Welby, the senior bishop and principal ‘mouthpiece’  of the Church of England, said in his address at Canterbury Cathedral; ‘Even in a recovering economy, Christians, the  servants of a vulnerable and poor saviour, need to act to serve and love the poor.’ He went on to say, ‘No  society can be content where misery and want exist, unless, through our love collectively, we also challenge the greed and selfishness behind it.’

Oh really? The C of E, already with assets valued at £7.3 billion, has begun legal action to claim ancient mineral rights beneath thousands of homes and farms (500,000 acres), prompting fears the ‘cash-strapped’ church could seek to cash in on fracking profits! Christian charity? Be off with you! Furthermore, I don’t suppose the C of E will ever frack beneath the land belonging to the 42 odd bishops residences, which are each valued on average at £2.2 million! It should come as no shock that the Arch Bish of Cant has recently admitted the C of E pays some workers less than the living wage!

With no legal recourse, if the land beneath my home was subject to a religious ‘land grab’, I guess I’d have no choice but to grin and bear it! I might even take advantage of drilling beneath my feet! I’d make two martinis, ‘shaken not stirred’ and take them into the bedroom. My girlfriend and I would take our clothes off, get into bed and assume the missionary position, but do no more. Once the fracking began, foundation vibrations would stir the martinis and cause me to cum!

 

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