SPACE JAM!

universe

Well folks, it’s official, sort of. According to researchers from the University of Lethbridge in Canada and the Benha University in Egypt, the Universe didn’t start with a big bang, or even a small bang, because the Universe has existed forever. Ah ha, so there was no beginning at all! It follows, with no ‘singularity’, Einstein’s theory has been debunked! Sorry folks, I don’t buy it! There must be a beginning to everything. ‘Forever’ presupposes there is no ‘time’, which we know there is, otherwise there would be no past, present or future!

Meanwhile, scientists are already predicting what might cause the end of us. Nuclear war, artificial intelligence, major asteroid impact, supervolcano, global pandemic, ecological catastrophe, nanotechnology (machines), extreme climate change, alien invasion, demonic interference or none of the above! Now might be the time to max your credit cards!

Remaining focused on extraterrestrials for a moment, outgoing President Obama aide John Podesta has said, his ‘big regret’ was not securing the disclosure of UFO files. Many people believe aliens have been here for a very long time indeed. It is even believed many of them have worked at one time or another in local jobcentres, where they took a particular delight in rejecting legitimate claims for financial support! Hey, isn’t it about time aliens came out of hiding? Hey, I could arrange a ‘meet & greet’ and perhaps a sleepover! I’ve always wanted to bed a bug-eyed, scaly monster with detritus!

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