HEADS I WIN!

Borg queen head

Dr Sergio Canavero, a member of the Turin Advanced Neuromodulation Group, believes it is possible to cure current diseases such as cancer by performing human HEAD TRANSPLANTS.  “This is no longer science fiction. This could be done today — now,” he said, according to The Telegraph. “The only reason I have not gone further is funding,” and probably the lack of DONOR heads! The £7.5 million body swap is likely to be carried out on someone with spinal cord injuries. The first head/body swap has been pencilled in for 2017.

Well folks, if you are thinking of having a HEAD re-attachment procedure any time soon, I urge you to avoid the British Nation Health Service, and go private. Currently the NHS seems to take the BENNY HILL approach to general surgery, where anything that can go wrong on the operating table, does go wrong! Wrong limbs operated on…wrong organs removed. Surgeons are often ill-prepared, inexperienced, rushed and unmonitored. A surgeon who doesn’t have English as his first language may be a contributory factor to a long list of catastrophic mistakes. Manik Sharma a radiographer hired from India after a job interview on SKYPE was banned from working in the NHS for being incompetent and apparently UNQUALIFIED. The likely outcome of a NHS head transplant might leave you with a back-to-front re-attachment which will leave you staring down at your own ass! Of course if donor heads are in short supply, you could always opt for a non-human head! 

*A man walks into a pub, and the short-sighted barman says, “Why the long face?” The man replies, “Because I’m a bit horse!” The barman asks, “Which bit?” And the man replies, “My head!”

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