A German police worker from the Criminal Technical Institute in the eastern city of Dresden, has been charged with murdering and chopping up a man he met on a cannibal website who had long fantasized about being killed and eaten. The suspect, known only as Detlev G, is said to have been ‘obsessed’ with cannibalism and met the 59-year-old man from Hanover on the fetishist website. Police say the victim was tortured, killed and dismembered and body parts were found buried in the garden of Detlev’s home in the eastern Ore Mountains, near Dresden.
Well, well, I occasionally fantasize about taking part in another manage a trois, but never about eating another human being, or being eaten by a cannibal! Where is the pleasure for the victim? I’m just not that microwavable! Hey, doesn’t that remind you of a recent Ben Afleck/Jennifer Aniston movie…’He’s Just Not That Into You’, or what about that Matt Damon/Greg Kinnear flick, ‘Stuck in You’? A counter argument may be, since planet Urf is so over-populated, organised cannibalism might be the only way to keep down the population? Of course ‘Accident & Emergency’ departments could well be overrun by amateur cannibals turning up with neighbours shin bones stuck in their throats! I think I’ll stick to pizza! Oh God, I’ve just realised something…if food prices continue to rise, well, we may be forced to eat our neighbours, or those members of our families we never could f**king stand! In which case I’ll end up three times my size!