South African doctors at Tygerberg Hospital have performed the world’s first penis transplant on a 21-year-old (man), who lost his err member three years ago after a botched circumcision, in a country where 250 young men lose their penises each year after coming-of-age rituals go horribly wrong.
It got me to thinking, I could do with a secondary penis, and I would like it attached to my forehead, provided the blood supply isn’t diverted from by brain. Having a secondary penis so positioned would save me hours in courting rituals. Cutting out misunderstood signals, women in nightclubs and bars would know instantly I was attracted to them. If their feelings were reciprocal, potential sexual partners they could signal me by throwing pretzel rings onto my erect member, and thus I would know to proceed with my seduction techniques. Furthermore, a high-ridged, erect, secondary penis would leave my hands free to drive an open-topped sports car, proving ‘Eddie’ my trained falcon with somewhere to land! I wonder if this luxury, secondary cock item is available on the British National Health Service? Naturally I wouldn’t mention Eddie!