Following ‘Vlad the Impala’ Putin’s threat to place Russian nuclear weapons on alert status over the West’s interference in the Ukraine, the leader of the ‘mafia’ Russian State has unveiled a new breed of ‘eco-friendly’ nuclear missiles! The Vostok boats greater fuel efficiency and is covered in ‘smart paint’ that allows the high velocity, deadly weapon to change colour as it traverses the globe. Thus it has the ability to ‘blend in’ with the surrounding landscape. Just what we need, a nuclear missile that isn’t an eyesore. How great is that? Why there is even talk an on-board camera will take a ‘selfie’ just before the weapon descends towards its designated target. More treasured memories!