HAVE YOU TRIED THE COCAINE DIET?

septum

No? Why not, because it appears everyone else has! It is claimed up to 88% of bank notes in the UK carry traces of illegal drugs, and much of it is cocaine! Twenty-two-year veteran bus driver Alan Bailes, who was sacked by employer First Bus after his saliva tested positive for the drug, has won a substantial pay out via an employment tribunal by proving the drug came from bank notes handed over by passengers. To clear his name, Mr Bailes spent two years and £440 on a more accurate hair follicle test through his GP which proved he was drug free at the time of the original testing. Wow, if so many of us are taking cocaine on a regular basis, I would have thought we would already have heard about the rush for ‘new for old’ septums, as the original, degraded ones shot out once we’d blown our noses? Err, something is afoot, and I don’t believe it is twelve inches?

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