LET’S CUT OUR EMISSIONS BY 28%!

no farting

President Obama wants to cut gas emissions by up to 28%. I’m with him! Why should I suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fartune because you can’t keep your greenhouse gas emissions under wraps? What you do in the privacy of your own home is entirely your business, but why must I suffer other people’s personal, pungent gas emissions on buses, in trains, theatres, cinemas, restaurants and lecture halls? Your unruly bottom burps are a public health issue! Citizens, mark my words, the wind of change is a-coming, so don’t ‘break bad’ in my space!¬†Agents of the Noise Abatement Society, armed with pong meters are on your trail, so unless you want to an outcast, stick a cork in it or change your diet!! You know, venting one’s spleen can be so, so cathartic!

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