nuclear missile 1

I’ve always been interested in auctioning things on eBay, but until very recently I hadn’t come across the right product. I wanted a ‘big score’, a one-off, kinda unique item that would set me up for life, so when a 98-foot, nuclear missile fell into my lap…ouch…I wasted no time in uploading a ‘full frontal’ image, plus accompanying details. For 2-million quid (a bargain basement price), I offered ‘Cyril’ with either 5 or 6 tail fins, a ‘logo’ of your choice, and was prepared, if pushed, to re-spray the weapon of masturbationmass destruction in a choice of 7-colours. Job done, I sat back and waited for enquiries from Iran, mafia States, and the mafia. Unfortunately, the only two serious enquiries I received were from the British Ministry of Defence who wanted to know if they could pay by instalments, on account the country was technically bankrupt, and another enquiry from the VAT office who wanted to know if I was a sole trader or a company, and whether I was registered for VAT! With only 39-hours left in which to place a bid, I’m worried that I’ll be permanently lumbered with Cyril and might have to add him to my household contents insurance policy. Now come on, get your fingers out! There’s fighting going on all over the f**king world. Surely there’s someone who could benefit from a nuclear missile in his choice of colours?


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