According to the results of research commissioned by the Huffington Post and online magazine Real Simple, nearly half of all women would rather go a month with no sex than be without their phones for the same amount of time. But surely, with the facilities now available on smartphones, women needn’t go without either? According to an ex-girlfriend of mine, “If a woman can’t bring herself to orgasm using her vibraphone, then her vagina should be on life support!” Yes, that’s right…I was indeed replaced by technology, and I’m sure it won’t be the last time. We should all know our limitations, and I certainly know mine. Denise complained I made love like an android, so she went straight out and bought a smartphone with an Android operating system. How fair was that?