SIZE ‘ZERO’ MODELS!

skeleton Images of Size zero models have reappeared on the catwalk, fashion chain websites and department store hoardings! People are grumbling. People are complaining these stick thin models are just not thin enough! Why, unless you’ve got a thigh gap you can drive a train through, well, you’re considered not thin enough! The public, particularly pre-pubescent girls and young women buy into this crap! Some boys too. For many, starving oneself to achieve the unachievable leads to mood swings, lethargy, migraines, depression, bad skin, a disruption of the menstrual cycle and terminal anorexia. You may well ‘briefly’ stare at the reflection of a doorstep chime, but you can’t maintain the image and live! Listen, unduly influenced by media images of how a handful of people think we should look, we all at times behave irrationally, so don’t beat yourselves up about it! Think about this for a moment, the skinny starving millions in Africa and Asia want to look like the majority of us in the affluent West, while many of the Western ‘chubbies’ would die to look like them! The ‘have nots’ want a full belly, whilst the ‘haves’ dream of protruding ribs! How weird? Body dysmorphia is spreading! Take my advice, unless you’re ready to spend your whole life in a gym, get used to who you really are, for your true shape is determined by inherited genes!

So, in order to do away with fat-blooded models, certain well-known fashion designers have resorted to claiming unclaimed cadavers from morgues. The dead are being taken to AREA 52 in the Nevada Desert, where maggots are left to eat the remainder of their flesh. After one month, the skeletons are pressure-washed, dried, made-up and readied for the catwalk. Dressed in the latest unwearable clothing, the skeletons will be wired up all the way to the ceiling, where skeleton controllers, or puppet-masters intend controlling their every move. Posing and turning have yet to be mastered!

Model behaviour!

Some catwalk models are so desperate to look thinner, they resort to having their back teeth removed to give them a narrower looking face, and often undergo an operation under general anaesthesia to have lower ribs removed in order to create a slimmer waist contour. Most commonly, the 12th, 11th, and occasionally the 10th ribs are removed. The 11th and 12th ribs are known as “floating” ribs, which means they only cover the organs from the back and not the front. The 10th rib covers both the front and back, which is why some surgeons who perform rib removal feel it’s unsafe to remove this rib. Boy, there’s something to be said for being a couch potato!

Breaking wind…news!

Paris authorities have banned super-skinny models from appearing on the catwalk. Now that organisers are forced to ‘underpin’ the runway, Paris Fashion Week will never be the same! Underweight models have been banned from the Madrid Fashion Week since 2006. Meanwhile, Spanish authorities in Catalonia are planning to ban the use of skinny models in advertising campaigns. All in all it looks like Asian child labourers in the garments industries will be forced to make garments to fit the ‘average’ size man and woman. A victory for common sense! Heat up the charcoal and bring out the chops!!

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