asteroid 2

Now I don’t know whether it is a generational thing, but ever since I was a small boy, there has been a man (probably several) who walks up and down the main shopping thoroughfare of Oxford Street in Central London wearing a banner; ‘The End Is Nigh!’ The police tend to leave him alone. In fact the only time he is jostled, is when a gang of smash & grab shoplifters plough through him in order to make their escape! Now every nutcase with a 3rd rate degree, or who has attended at least one seminary class has his or her prediction regarding the imminent end of planet Earth, be it from an asteroid strike, major floods, earthquake, solar flares and nuclear Armageddon.

With special powers comes great responsibility! If and when a huge hemorrhoidasteroid, measuring several miles by several miles hurtles towards Earth at a ferocious velocity, without any though to my own personal safety, all I need do to save your sorry asses is put down my coffee cup, raise an index finger and allow the asteroid to spin on it! I will do it with good grace, and won’t even claim for a repetitive strain injury to my little digit!


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