‘INHUMAN’ RIGHTS ACT FOR VAMPIRES!?!

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While electioneering Conservatives are promising to amend the Human Rights Act 1998 in order to deny foreign rapists and murderers the Act’s protection from deportation, I’ve decided to start an online petition to garner support for the growing number of real life vampires following the success of True Blood TV series and The Twilight Saga series of movies. I intend lobbying both Westminster and Brussels to pass the Inhuman Rights Act which would effectively give vampires the legal protection to hunt after the hours of darkness and to drink the blood of their victims, without concerns surrounding criminal liability. And by the way, it is purely coincidental that the administrative wing of The League of Extraordinary Vampires happen to be headquartered in a flat in the same Dolphin Square apartment block, Pimlico, where political, debauched parties were held at which rent boys and children were in attendance! A mere ‘address’ should not prejudice the case for the Inhuman Rights Act! And further more, if Vampirism is indeed a mental illness, and thus a ‘disability’, then surely all registered vampires and members of the LEV should be entitled to be issued disability ‘blue badge’ parking permits!

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