I went out with a group of friends to an Italian restaurant in Covent Garden last night. Marvelous food, great company, and then the bill arrived! We were charged £17:50p for a 1.5 litre bottle of drinking water! Naturally I complained to ‘Andrea’, the manager. “Excuse me,” I said. “Two of us are lapsed Jews and Atheists, two of us are Muslims, one of us is a Presbyterian, and one of my friends is a Methodist.” The manager didn’t at first get it, nor was she supposed to. Furious, I was being deliberately obtuse. “So why oh why would any one of us order a bottle of holy water?” Andrea still wasn’t on the same page. “It must be holy water, because you’re selling it for £17:50!” I knew we had to pay the bill in full, and did so, but I for one won’t be returning there anytime soon!