King George III and Queen Charlotte with their...

King George III and Queen Charlotte with their six eldest children in 1770. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Believe it or not, while you and worry about the cost of feeding ourselves and heating our ‘mortgaged to the hilt’ homes,  debutantes…17 to 20 year-old daughters of the ruling class are still presenting themselves to the aristocracy at the Queen Charlotte’s Ball at the Royal Courts of Justice. Young women…not necessarily virgins…from the richest families are invited to the ball where, after months of careful preparation, which involves etiquette classes and charity fund-raising, the free-range reared young debutantes are able to show off their skills in poise and elegance, the purpose of which is to present themselves to potential aristocratic suitors smelling of champagne, roses and truffle oil. Some critics suggest the ‘social event of the season’ is no more than an upmarket meat market where ‘gene depleted aristocrats’ can refresh their 1000-year-old gene pools by taking in new blood. You see no longer do members of English aristocracy marry first cousins for fear of producing sub-normal specimens. The ball is the only time the phrase ‘coming out’ does not refer to the closet! Naturally taking a selfie is considered de rigueur!

In order to stand any chance of being hailed ‘Deb of the Year’, months of preparation are involved. Charity work, numerous couture dress fittings, diamond studded tiaras and precious jewellery must be picked, etcetera, etcetera, oh, and dieting, after all, no one with a fat ass will stand any chance of being saluted as deb of the year, will she? Debs with backsides the size of a chuck wagons must waddle off to Harley Street in order to undergo rear end maintenance…or liposuction. Here debutants can de-butt themselves on daddy’s credit card.

Queen Charlotte’s Ball was introduced by King George III in 1780 as a way to celebrate his wife’s birthday. Up until 1958, young debutantes used to be  presented to the Queen at Buckingham Palace, but no longer. The white dresses worn by the debutantes are a nod to the virginity that was once required of a bride. They are also a reminder of the outfits worn by Queen Charlotte’s ladies, all single women. The ball was cancelled in 1976 after an outbreak of gonnohorea amongst the upper classes, but was resurrected in 2007 when new antibiotics became available.

*I once tried to access and aristocratic vagina, but unfortunately the blue-blood’s dance card was full!



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