DO YOU WORK FOR BRITAIN’S SECURITY SERVICE?

 

general incompetence

And if you do, are you a self-assured, motivated, high functioning individual with considerable self-esteem who helps to protect the country from dangerous undesirables? Fancy a change? Fancy stepping out of your comfort zone to question the meaning of life? Now being that I am a well-known general incompetent, it should come as no surprise to you when I reveal that I operate an insecurity service. I am more than willing to enter your home in order to perform a variety of shoddy DIY jobs, the combined results of which will definitely cause you to question, perhaps for the very first time, your self-worth. Testimonials are available as to my utter incompetence. And if your worried about me indemnifying you against your house collapsing, you have no need to worry on that score. I have no insurance and don’t intend getting any! Trust me, the grass is indeed greener on the other side of the hill, because that’s where I grow my marijuana! Call me and let’s do lunch! I would offer to buy you breakfast but for the fact I never get out of bed before 11am!

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