Plutonium 239

Vladimir ‘Iron Man’ Putin was recently photographed playing in an exhibition ice hockey game in Sochi, in which the Russian Pres. scored eight goals, his team eventually winning 18 to 6. Unusually, the match lasted far longer than the regulation 3×20 minute periods on account most of the hockey sticks, having split, had to be replaced. It was reported that on several occasions during the match opposing team players were only too happy to give away the puck. Was it out of respect for V. Putin? Err, no! Prior to the match commencing, the opposing team members had been informed the regular solid vulcanised rubber puck had been replaced with a puck made of weapon-grade Plutonium-239, weight, 200 kilograms! Pres. Putin wore a number ’94’ shirt throughout the match, which coincidentally is the atomic number for Plutonium. Fingers pointed at the CIA. Thankfully those same wagging fingers have since…fallen off!


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