According to the European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction, London sewage has the highest concentration of cocaine in Europe. Arrh, no wonder every m***er-f***er in the world wants to come here! I for one am not going to wait a moment more. I’m going to grab my bucket and sheet of muslin, and go underground! Why not join me, after all, ‘where there’s muck there’s money!’ I reckon panning for cocaine could be lucrative, and a lot simpler and cheaper than cooking crystal meth. And if you do meet me down there, keep an eye out for fat bergs, crocodiles and suburban antelope! Before very long I envisage the creation of a whole subterranean community waiting with anticipation for the next big flush, so be there or be…rectangle!