THE OBESITY CRISIS IN…HEAVEN!?!

heaven 1

When I think about my own journey towards enlightenment, I feel positively exhausted! It is a long journey, and should my consciousness continue to exist on some heavenly plain after death, I suspect ‘enlightenment’ may well take me several hundred years to achieve! Meanwhile I’ve been thinking about the controlled environment in which we all live down here on terra firma. Sure we live in the new high-tech 21st century, but nothing really has changed in 2-thousand-years regarding our personal behaviour. We are told, and by a variety of priests representing numerous religions, many of who by the way claim to have the ear of God, that the ‘well behaved’ are inevitably destined for heaven, while the ‘badly behaved’ will go straight to hell!? Heaven is described as a tranquil place with the perfect climate, in which everything we require is available in abundance. Rainbows, fresh food, rivers of wine, honey and presumably gold too? We are led to believe no one who makes it to heaven need toil, and in whatever form ‘time’ exists, it is to be spent in the pursuit of outdoor leisure activities, such as debating, archery, sex and horse riding! It got me to thinking, other than reaching for the 24/7 buffet, if no heavenly being need exert himself or herself, surely by now there must be an obesity crisis in heaven?! Jeez, I hope the dates and olives are pitted, otherwise I’ll just have to spit them out. Huh, and just my luck, as soon as I pass through the Pearly Gates, the first sign I expect I’ll come across will be: ‘No spitting!’

PS: It is ‘highly unlikely’ heaven exists, so I suggest you makes alternative arrangements!

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