Because there is a giant hemorrhoid…asteroid hurtling towards Earth. It is estimated the collision will be felt by you and I between 22nd and the 28th of September 2015, and it is estimated destruction will be of biblical proportions! Meanwhile Nasa has said there is no giant asteroid, hemorrhoid or comet currently on collision course with Earth. Well they would say that, wouldn’t they, particularly when there is nowhere to hide!
Timing is everything! F**king asteroid! I mean, it would have to happen in my lifetime, wouldn’t it! I’ve just had a conservatory build onto my house, plus I’ve paid for a new roof and patio paving! A giant hemorrhoid I could cope with. Okay, so a collision would be a bit messy, but at least I probably wouldn’t lose my home, but an asteroid? I just hope there is a life after death, because I’d give the Almighty a bloody good tongue-lashing!