Antimatter: Matter's Arch Nemesis (NASA, Chand...

Antimatter: Matter’s Arch Nemesis (NASA, Chandra, 10/30/08) (Photo credit: NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center)

Everyone is anti something these days! Anti Jew, anti Muslim, anti casino bankers, anti price hikes…well I’m anti-matter! That’s right, I’m against scientists at the Large Hadron Collider on the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva creating the volatile explosive element, nor do I want it ‘farmed’ from outer space. Matter & anti-matter do not make good bedfellows! If you want your space ship to travel faster than the speed of light, then run it on radioactive marshmallows! Scoff if you like, but I’m ahead of my time…at least that’s what my psychiatrist thinks, and who am I to argue? You might say, does it matter…well it f**king well does!

After a 2-year re-fit, the even Larger Hadron Colander…Collider switch on its beams on June 3rd last, and at 7-times the energy level! Boy someone’s going to have a smashing time smashing particles! Some people believe, if the experiment is successful, far from further explaining the origins of life on Earth, it will open the gateway to Hell and allow Lucifer to enter our realm in order to claim ‘non-dom’ status and social security benefits. Will Satan being strutting his stuff on the Paris runways, only time will tell! Perhaps the ruler of the Hadean Empire will appear on an edition of ‘The Price is Right’? “Lucifer, come on down!”  Just remember this…the road to hell is paved with good intentions!

These were the thoughts of Chairman Meow!


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