MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS! 165,000 people have applied from 120 countries, (3,500 from Britain) for a ONE-WAY ticket to the Red Planet. MARS ONE, a Dutch company plans to fly four people every year from 2023. Colonists must agree to remain on the Red Planet for life and be filmed for a REALITY TV programme. Living in self-contained BIOSPHERES, apparently the experience is hoped to be a cross between Ray Bradbury’s Martian Chronicles and The X-Files. We can only hope an evil Martian with a loose bowel movement contaminates the rarefied atmosphere! Furthermore, lets hope that the new strain of deadly, anti-biotic resistant, super-gonorrhoea will decimate the colony of wannabe TV stars before fame changes them!
Presumably the only way for humans to experience a kind of utopia, where conflict is replaced by a peaceful, harmonious existence, is to carve it out for themselves on the surface of Mars. Let’s hope a lone jihadist doesn’t infiltrate the ranks of the Martian colonists! Sharia Law has no place off-world, or for that matter, in any civilized society!
Talking about ‘saving yourself for the right man’, some female, virgin space cadets are determined to ‘save themselves for the right Martian’. I kid you not! I can only presume said virgins are hoping to produce ‘green’ babies that are naturally environmentally friendly!
Seriously folks, a lot of people must be really disillusioned with life on Earth to apply for a one-way trip to Mars. Have they no dependants or loved ones? Is it possible that some of the applicants suffer mental health issues? For sure, I wouldn’t want to be trapped up there with a f**king serial killer. Mind you, that would do wonders for the TV ratings! You would be surprised by the number of applicants who yearn to die on Mars! Presumably applicants are eager to get a burial plot to themselves, rather than facing the prospect of having to share one down here on over-crowded Earth?