Honestly, just like a bus, you wait ages for one to come along, and then 500 come along all at once! Last weekend the annual ‘Swingfield Festival’ was held in the village of Flaxley, in Gloucestershire, which proved to be the biggest event in the Swingers calendar. The village was awash with tents and camper vans. Apart from live music and general debauchery, available to use were hot tubs, saunas and chill pools. ‘Workshops’ were held and adult sex toys were displayed on stalls. Why there was even a laser show! I didn’t go because I didn’t have anything to wear! Unfortunately no advance notice was given, so local residents were forced to close their curtains to avoid getting an eyeful of non-resident genitals. A plethora of ‘muff’ and ‘cock’ about, I suppose it was the only weekend of the year when it would have been it was an advantage to suffer from macular degeneration! Regrettably the swingers weekend was brought to an abrupt halt when someone poked a hornets nest. Ouch!! Tickets are already on sale to attend the 2016 festival. Go to fabswingers.com. The venue has yet to be decided. Bearing in mind one of the largest street parties ever held in the UK is intended to celebrate Her Majesty the Queen’s 90th birthday, might we see a smattering of swingers ‘saluting’ Queen Elizabeth along the Mall?