HOGWARTS IS NOW A ‘FEE PAYING’ SCHOOL!

Hogwarts school

That’s right folks, you heard it here first! Harry Potter’s alma mater, Hogwarts, is to charge potential, young wizards for all classes, magic equipment and board and lodgings. Previously the Ministry of Magic covered the costs of an all-round magical education, but no longer! British Prime Minister, David Cameron has been quoted as saying: “Since Hogwarts is not a Faith school, all previous taxpayer-funded subsidies have been withdrawn.” Of course it didn’t help that Hogwarts entire stock of magical ‘half-blood sausages’ found their way into the hands of ISIS, who are using said blood sausages to down Western planes. US defence contractor, Northrop Grumman Integrated Missile Systems Inc are understandably reluctant to re-supply Hogwarts. Well, can you really blame them? Frankly I think magic is over-rated!

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