SOLE SURVIVOR…LIMITED EDITION ‘BULLET-PROOF’ LUGGAGE!

bulletproof underwear

Bullet-proof luggage which can be used as a ‘defence shield in the event of an assault’ is going on sale exclusively at Harrods in London, with prices starting from £4,195. The limited-edition TecknoMonster’s Kasor range is protected by dark grey carbon fibre shells inspired by technology from the aviation and space industries, and is made with ‘dangerous travel’ in mind. Customised ‘indestructible’ bullet-proof Kevlar panels can be added to ensure the cases are ‘totally unassailable’.

So whether you travel for business or pleasure to dangerous areas, by train, sea or air, f**k the sensitive data or valuable electronic devices, empty your bullet-proof suitcases, crawl inside and travel in the cargo hold! Two million fatwas have been issued by Islamic clerics since 1998, so if you’ve got one on your head, the TecknoMonster’s Kasor range of bullet-proof luggage is just what you’ve been waiting for! I wonder whether TecknoMonster are prepared to throw in a pair of complimentary Kevlar underpants/panties if you purchase the full range of luggage? Worth considering!

Possible side-effects of travelling incognito inside your bullet-proof, bomb-proof luggage? Poor cell phone and wi-fi reception, light-sensitive eyes, anti-social tendencies, claustrophobia, trapped nerve in back. Advantages? Low carbon footprint! Good luck out there, it’s a je…je…jungle!

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