CHILDBIRTH IS A ‘PRIVATE’ MATTER!

gross

What’s ‘trending’ in the delivery room? Apparently expectant mothers are inviting all and sundry to experience babies births, including relatives, friends and work colleagues, only to upload the ‘event’ onto social media without any editing! Talk about ‘life’ under a microscope!Hey, why not go the whole hog? Now that Parliament is closed for summer recess, why not drag into the delivery room a dozen or so Japanese tourists? You never know, on a wet and windy day, they might be only too happy to snap the joys of a ‘traditional’ British birth! But why stop there! Delay the cutting of the umbilical cord. Stretch it out as far as it will go, stick on ‘Uptown Funk’ and get everyone to skip over the cord! Nah, sounds a bit ‘Double Dutch’ to me! Now for goodness sake, don’t forget the baby, because ‘no one puts baby in the corner’, right? Err, I’m not sure I’d want a million people getting a bird’s-eye view of my wife’s distressed vagina!

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