I walked into a branch of a well-known heath supplement chain of shops today and bought a 1 litre bottle of pure Aloe Vera juice that is supposed to aid digestion. The sales assistant asked me whether I was a regular shopper in the store, and if I wanted to sign up for a loyalty card if I didn’t already have one. I said I had previously applied for a loyalty card in her shop and in several other retailers both physical and online, but that my numerous applications for loyalty cards had been rejected on account I had proved to be decidedly disloyal, as several former lovers had attested to when testimonials had been taken up. Christ, I can’t even get my loyalty card stamped at Caffe Nero! Anyway, I got home, poured out a small glass of Aloe Vera juice and chucked it down my gob. Jeez, it tasted like burnt plastic, so I know it’s doing me good!