If you’re not from the UK and was not a child of the 80s, you might not remember glove puppet Gordon the Gopher, the alcoholic, rodent philanderer who reached the giddy heights of TV celebrity between 1985 and 1987, first on CBBC show the ‘Broom Cupboard’ and later on ‘Going Live!’ Tragically, after several bouts in rehab, Gordon T. Gopher fell into a bottle of gin disappeared into obscurity. To mark the 30th anniversary of the Broom Cupboard, Gordon was all set to make a remarkable comeback to live television. Un-f**king-fortunately he has been caught up in the Establishment sex scandals, resulting in the rodent being charged with 7-counts of ‘interfering with other glove puppets’. Bearing in mind 5 out of the 7 alleged ‘victims’ have already been identified as ‘rent-boy glove puppets’, I did not hesitate to offer to appear as a witness in order to attest to Gordon’s good character. You should do the same, after all, some glove puppets do indeed need a…hand up!