SEAGULL WARS!

seagull

Lately seagulls across Britain have been subjected to negative press due to the birds anti-social behaviour! These a-political creatures have been recorded dive-bombing children for their ice-cream, attacking pets on beaches, pecking at naturists wobbly bits and crapping on the heads of Zimmer-frame users, acts which are definitely worthy of the issue of community ASBOs. So how are coastal towns preparing to deal with the seagull menace? Believe it or not, Graham Roberts, borough councillor for Whitehaven, Cumbria, is looking into the cost-effectiveness of deploying drones to see-off the great menace! “If seagulls refuse to act responsibly, we may have no choice but to engage them in aerial combat. We may even arm the drones with machineguns!” Err, excuse me, but wouldn’t it be simpler, and cheaper to train cuckoos to see off the menace? What’s that old adage? Ah yes…‘Set a thief to catch a thief!’

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