FANCY A CAREER IN…KOREA?

korea DMZ

North Korea has threatened to blow up South Korea’s loudspeakers after they began spouting ‘psychological warfare’ over the border between the two countries that are technically still at war. A peace treaty was never signed and a cease-fire agreement expired years ago. Seoul restarted the propaganda broadcasts for the first time in 11-years after accusing North Korea of planting landmines in the Demilitarized Zone instead of the promised azaleas and white ‘peace’ poppies. It really would be a shame to destroy South Korea’s Q Acoustics 2050i speakers. I only wish I could afford them!

Rather than spouting proper or improper ganda, why don’t the South Koreans play John Lennon’s ‘Give Peace A Chance’ through their loudspeakers I can’t afford, and then Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s ‘Relax‘? After all, if anything’s designed to give peace a chance, it is masturbation on a grand scale! Should pro-war factions put down their ‘mutton daggers’ long enough to pick up their rifles, then the Q Acoustics 2050i speakers should play Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s ‘Two Tribes’ (Go To War), followed by the pop-jazz instrumental ‘Yakety Sax’, the de facto theme music to the late, great, Benny Hill’s comedy TV show. Either way, get it on, or get it over with! The rest of the human race shouldn’t have to wait with bated breath for another 60-years for real peace or war to break out, should it?

Breaking news!

On the second day of high-level talks between North and South Korea, known as the ‘For fuck sake take down your loudspeaker talks’, North Korea launched 50 of its submarines, the 60-year old Whiskey-class non-nuclear boats, and the 50-year-old Romeo-class non nuclear boats. Let us hope no torpedoes or missiles are fired from these old, Soviet-era rust buckets, otherwise hundreds of North Korean submariners will be looking to the South Korean Navy to save them from watery graves!

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