It has just been announced President Barak Obama will appear alongside British adventurer Bear Grylls on a hike into the Alaskan wilderness for an NBC TV programme intended to highlight the environmental impact of climate change. “Oh fuck,” said the head of the President’s secret service detail. “No fucking way,” said another of President Obama’s bodyguards. “Freeze my nuts off? You’ve got to be kidding,” said a third member of the detail. “Anyway, have you ‘seen’ the size of those fucking bears? There’s loyalty, and then there’s just plain stupidity. POTUS can fend for himself!” In fact all the members of the President’s secret service detail have applied for alternative duties or early retirement. So much for a lame duck President!