Church towers will be used to help deliver superfast broadband in the rural south-west of England, including Somerset and Bath. The scheme is being piloted by the Diocese of Bath and Wells and internet provider Wold West Net!
Now wouldn’t it be interesting if God actually got connected to the World Wide Web? Instead of terminally ill patients having to rely on a familiar figure at the end of a long, white tunnel in order to guide their consciousness to heaven, God’s private secretary might send out emails to computers and text messages to smartphones. “The ‘Up’ escalator is shut for regular ‘millennium’ maintenance, so please watch your footing while climbing the ‘alternate’ staircase. Furthermore, ‘Heaven’s Gates’ are also closed for regular millennium maintenance. ‘Angel’s Entrance’ is out-of-bounds, so kindly use rear entrance reserved for ‘Tradesmen’. Regular ‘meet & greet’ will be held at 10:am, UHT (usual heaven time).