One Direction

Now that boy band ‘One Direction’ have announced their intention to split up at the end of October, or as the band members like to call it, ‘entering a lengthy hiatus’, worried parents are demanding the NHS provide, free, psychological counselling for One Direction’s legion of immature fans to prevent them from self-harming, or worse, harming others! After all, no one wants a repeat of the ‘famous 300’, the diehard ‘Take That’ fans who, upon hearing Take That were breaking up for the first time, went on a rampage, trashing two shopping malls and burning down a police station. Then the 300 pumped ‘slurry’ through the windows of Take That’s record company, coating the executives in pig shit. This was later scrapped off of clothing, bottled and sold on eBay as Take That memorabilia. As one might expect, demand outstripped supply. So if music is indeed the food of love, ‘One Direction’, for f**k sake play on! Let us hope the band’s ‘hiatus’ doesn’t turn into a ‘hiatus hernia’! Of course One Direction critics might argue, an exploding stomach lining is preferable to a musical comeback! Hey, I wonder what’s in the cards for the Simon Cowell’s other creation, ‘Little Mix’, the four-piece girl group made up of chubby hobbits?


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