I owe a big ‘thank you’ to Levi Pearson, a blogger on data analysis website Quantbait, for creating a digital map showing all the UFO sightings throughout the world from 1933 to the present day by using data from the National UFO Reporting Centre, headquartered in Washington. Successful entrepreneurs don’t wait for opportunities to appear, they create them! I intend selling up, buying a burger van and, following the map provided, travel around the world hoping to sell high quality ‘urban street food’ to the crews of alien landing crafts, who let’s face it, must be f**king starving after their long trips! Obviously ‘pricing’ will be reflected in lost opportunities. Listen, extraterrestrials may well be intelligent, but even a schmuck like me can get away with over-charging, right? And as far as ‘hygiene’ is concerned, well, I hadn’t planned on factoring that into my urban street food budget. I just hope aliens have assholes, otherwise they’re gonna drown in diarrhoea!