Following Lord Ashcroft’s unauthorised biography of his former pal, David Cameron, entitled ‘Call Me Dave’, it is alleged Britain’s ‘Right Honourable’ Oxford student once stuck his ‘private member’ in a the mouth of a dead pig’s head as part of a ritualistic ‘porcine initiation ceremony’ at the Piers Gaveston Society, an Oxford dining club. As a gastronome, I for one would like to know if apple sauce was involved? Anyway, I do hope DC had the foresight to thoroughly wash his cock before sticking it in his then girlfriend’s mouth? Apparently, afterwards the upper class diners hopped a jet, flew to Canada, where they enjoyed a seal-clubbing holiday! Will this incident prove to be Mr Cameron’s Monica Lewinsky moment, well only time will tell? Not so ‘cock-sure’ now sir, are you, although I bet Britain’s PM is relieved the porcine initiation ceremony didn’t become a Kodak moment! One thing is for certain, Mrs Sam Cam won’t be serving up bacon any time soon! If David Cameron ever wanted to alienate the entire British Muslim community with his university ‘high-jinks’, well, he’s done himself proud! Will the incident that occurred many moons ago cook Cameron’s political goose or crisp his bacon, only time and a bit of parsley will tell? I bet they’ll be a few ‘oinks’ at Wednesday’s House of Commons Prime Minister’s Questions, that’s if DC turns up?
The Piers Gaveston Society is a men-only dining club founded in 1977 at the University of Oxford with membership limited to 12 undergraduates. It is named in honour of Piers Gaveston, favourite and supposed lover of King Edward II of England. The Piers Gaveston Society should not be confused with the non-prescription Gaviscon heartburn and indigestion product, which right about now DC is probably gulping by the bucket load! Of course there is one positive result from the ‘dead pig head incident’. The Conservative Party has just received a political donation in the amount of £250,000 from the company behind ‘Butcher’s Best Pork Sausages’! This confirms once again, ‘no publicity is bad publicity’, unless of course your name is Bill Clinton! One last thought!