Economist, Professor Lord Richard Layard, the author of the 2005 best-seller ‘Happiness: Lessons from a New Science’, claims ‘Government does not do enough to ensure our happiness’. The gentleman estimates poor mental health or mental illness accounts for the loss of 4% of GDP (gross domestic product). A counter argument might be, ‘Don’t look to the Government or anyone else to make you happy’. It could further be argued ‘happiness’ is within you, that ‘contentment‘ is self-determining. What do I mean by this? Well, don’t buy in to society’s bullshit! The NHS, through GP’s spends billions each and every year prescribing antidepressants. They don’t make people happy, but they might take the edge of an individual’s misery. In truth, the general lack of available happiness is down to the lack of money, long-term debt and missed opportunities.Take away someone’s hopes and dreams and you’re bound to produce an unhappy individual.

Nonetheless, GB Prime Minister David Cameron’s recent cabinet reshuffle saw an additional ministerial post created. ‘Minister for Happiness’. As yet, no politician has been brave enough to put his or her name forward, for it is thought no good can come of it! You would think the impending legalization of cannabis, the legalization of incest and the ability to pass on one’s long-term debts after death to one’s children, would be cause for a sudden and uncontrollable outbreak of happiness, wouldn’t you? Let e offer you three quotes on the subject. ‘Happiness Depends Upon Ourselves!’ (Ricky Aristotle). ‘You Can’t Have A Rainbow Without A Little Rain!’ (Anonymous) And ‘Oh Joy, Oh Bliss, I Think I Need A Piss!’ (Poet Eric Ernie Blister). In any event, I wish you all a penishap-piness!

According to last year’s United Nations ‘World Happiness Report’, the Danes are the happiest people on Earth, whereas people of the UK are down to 22nd position on the list. This must go some way to explaining why Danish sperm, or Scanda spunk is the preferred sperm when it comes to British women seeking donations. So it would appear British sperm definitely gets the thumbs down! In conclusion, if you are still in search of ‘elusive happiness’, perhaps it might be a good idea to either lower your expectations, or accept that happiness, like wind, appears when you least expect it to!



  1. I may be wrong, but I heard that some anti-depressants were only approved for human use with the recommendation that they were used as an adjunct to counselling. Try getting on the NHS waiting list for that! Good luck! Oh, but you can have your pills right away! Do they even tell people about the counselling thing anymore? I’m not sure, but since GPs have one of the highest suicide rates of any profession, I’m not sure that the doctor’s is the place to go if you’re feeling down. Try Brazil instead, or maybe Barbados!

  2. Thanks for your comments. Much appreciated! About three years ago I saw my GP about a torn leg muscle. During the conversation I mentioned I felt generally ‘down’. The doctor (more of a social worker I thought) handed me a printed questionnaire which I completed. According to my answers the doctor determined I was suffering from ‘clinical depression’ and tried to persuade me to go on anti-depressant called ‘Lofepramine’. I resisted! Not all, but some surgeries hand out anti-depressants like sweeties!

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