no fartingRecent research has revealed we are all enveloped in a ‘personal’ aura of dead skin and fart bacteria, or airborne bacterial cloud. It is no wonder aliens hover but are reticent to land! It has been suggested, individual bacterial signatures could one day be used by forensic police officers to track down criminals. Future generations might do well to exfoliate! One can therefore conclude, when a psy-chic tells you that you have a strong aura, she ain’t necessarily being complimentary!

Hey, since so many of us in the West believe extraterrestrials actually exist…61% of men polled and 44% of women polled…perhaps we could entice the little bleeders down from their space crafts by arranging an Alien fashion Week, during which designers like Stella McCartney and Victoria Beckham could show off their ‘out of this world’ designs?


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