I'm not here

Look, I’m a deep thinker, but it hasn’t got me far. Often…sometimes…occasionally, through rem sleep I’ve been ‘forced’ to experience an alternate consciousness. Sometimes I awaken unsure what is real and what is not. Is it possible I’m not really here in the flesh? In which case, surely the history of ‘me’ is merely fictional? Could it be my ‘dream state’ is real and my waking consciousness is unreal/a construct? If the ‘programme’ is widespread, then the ‘confidence’ of other is misplaced too, because they could be part of the same programme. Now if I had a history of heavy drug abuse, then its possible I’d be suffering from some kind of psychosis, but I don’t take drugs. Maybe the truth is far simpler. Maybe I think too much for my own good? Perhaps I would be more settled if I had married and had kids? I do wish I was a happy bunny, but I’m not, and have never been. I am a warrior at heart, but didn’t know it until it was too late, too late, because I am now civilized. Ideally, I would have benefited from Grail quest, but not necessarily a holy one, but a righteous one. Oh well, such is life! Perhaps I should place a warning buoy on the edge of my world: ‘I’m infected, stay away!’ And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, well, good for you, for that must mean you are on the path of contentment!


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