I’m trying to persuade my granny to become a cage-fighter. Acting as her manager and trainer, I said I’d split the prize money down the middle, 60/40 in my favour. No, I’m not crazy! Granny Pearl has been teaching Tai Chi for over fifty years. Now if you speed Tai Chi up, well, you’ve got Kung Fu, ain’t you? Anyway, Pearl’s already got false teeth, so she can’t lose any.
‘But David,’ granny Pearl said. ‘Have you forgotten I suffer from haemophilia? I bleed easily!’
‘Granny,’ I replied. ‘Then you should be plenty motivated not to get tagged!’ And the moral of the story? You’re never too old to make a contribution, so don’t put your granny out to pasture! It’s a pity other grandsons aren’t as considerate as me! Now where did I put the keys to my Ferrari?