Sitting outside my local café enjoying a cigarette and a coffee this morning, I got up to open the door for a gentleman on crutches. Naturally, he thanked me. Half an hour later, the gentleman emerged from the café and sat at my table. “That was very kind of you to open the door for me,” he once again said. “No problem,” I repeated. “Tell me young man, would you be interested in saving the life of a princess who is locked in a tower within the walls of an impenetrable castle?” What could I say but, “That depends, is she HIV positive?” He said, “Not!” Then I asked him if he would load up my Oyster travel card. That was affirmative. Finally I enquired into the tower itself. “What, 125-feet! Fuck off!” Money was mentioned, and a lot of it! “Err, is this princess obese, pig ugly with her dark roots showing beneath her bottle-blond head of hair? Apparently she was all of that, and more. “My kind of woman,” I replied. “Count me in!” If one takes the trouble to look hard enough one can always find beauty in what others perceive as ugly! Haven’t we all encountered beauty that is only skin deep?


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