REGINALD KENNETH DWIGHT HATES WATER!

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That ‘heavyweight’ talent, Sir Elton John, will headline the opening night of next summer’s five-day, ‘cultural’ Henley (on Thames) Festival. Let us hope the gentleman doesn’t actually fall into the River Thames, otherwise insurance claims for residential flood damage might go through the roof! Similar tidal surges have been known to cause the London flood barriers to be raised! Oh dear me, it would appear I’ve turned into a…troll!

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