Oh boy, Christmas is almost upon us, yet again! I bet emergency plumbers and divorce lawyers are rubbing their hands with glee! I say, I heard a rumour Jesus (Christ) may make an appearance!? Oh it’s such a pity our saviour didn’t confirm by email. Jesus might have been booked to switch on the West End Christmas lights!? Of course, if the Christ was stupid enough to make an appearance riding a Segway scooter, I suspect there would be a mad stampede by various interested parties to knock him off again, but who would be the first to dispatch an assassin? Might it be a ‘defence’ contractor who feared Jesus would promote world peace and thus threaten a contractor’s ‘bottom line’? Perhaps ‘big pharma’ that consistently rips off the National Health Service by severely over-charging for drugs, might wish to see Jesus dead before he can level criticism at them? What of charities, that keep as much money as they dispense? How about Church leaders who live high on the hog while members of their own congregations starve? Jesus, having highlighted their general lack of musicality and poor song writing skills, perhaps a record producer might wish to see our saviour gone? Hey, when faced with accusations of human rights abuses, perhaps Jesus’s assassin will be dispatched by a consortium of sweatshop owners? Then there are the online gambling sites and online purveyors of porn? At the end of the day, Jesus’s killer is more likely to be a schoolboy with a knife who responds to a dare? HAPPY F**KING CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL!!


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