Folks, oh how times have changed! Big Brother watching our every move and listening in on our every conversation, ready to pounce as soon as we type a ‘trigger’ word on Twitter. Control, control, control! People are forever banging on about ‘rights’, human and civil, although I don’t quite understand the difference? But what about the rights of ‘free movement’ of an often marginalised minority group, witches? Between 1487 and 1956, my grandmother, Pearl could ride her broomstick whenever and wherever she pleased, but gradually, over the years, even her rights have been eroded by both State and local authority interference! Now grandma Pearl must keep detailed mechanical records as to ‘broomstick maintenance’, cannot use the same broomstick to sweep up her cave and fly, must have landing lights, a current ‘air worthiness certificate’, ‘Third-party Insurance’ and cannot fly anywhere without first lodging ‘flight plans’ with Northolt air traffic control in case my witchy granny collides with a drone carrying drugs for Her Majesty, or a plane carrying deported asylum seekers! Honestly, is it any wonder Grandma Pearl has turned into a couch potato? I’m convinced if it wasn’t for these stringent and clearly unfair rules and regulation imposed by a nanny state, Red Bull would by now have sponsored an air race of a quite different kind! And don’t get me started on ‘Coven tax’! Err, what do you mean, witches don’t exist…get outta here!


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