toilet paper

Indefinite toilet breaks in the privacy of your own privy may soon become a thing of the past! The British Government is so short of money to waste, it intends bulldozing a law through Parliament forcing every householder to pay for the installation of a toilet meter that will record how much time we all spend on our personal shitters! At the end of each month, we would all receive a ‘privy bill’, and have seven days in which to pay for it! Currently, the Government’s toilet ‘white paper’ (first draft of bill) is about to get a reading in the House. If the privy bill ever becomes law, well, you can forget about sitting on the bog reading ‘War & Peace’, or skimming through a copy of ‘Hello’ magazine to see which of your favourite celebrities has just had plastic surgery! My advice is, get up from the toilet…unless you’ve got diarrhoea…and start campaigning!

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