doctor in the house

As from 8 am this morning, thousands of junior doctors went on strike. According to a poll of more than 1,000 medics, nearly 90% of junior doctors would consider resigning from the NHS if the Government follows through on its threat to impose a new contract on them. Now unlike everyone else in the country, I will never need to put myself in the hands of hospital doctors. Having been diagnosed by a psychiatrist with multiple personality disorder (MPD), I will never need to rely on the skills of junior hospital doctors. Fortunately one of my distinct personalities, Harold Smythson, happens to be a highly regarded A & E trauma surgeon. He can crack a patient’s chest while simultaneously cracking someone else’s walnuts! June French, another of my multiple personalities, is a theatre nurse. How lucky am I? It’s just a shame I don’t have an auto engineer inside me, because I need my car fixed! Of course another great advantage in 90% of junior doctors buggering off to sunnier climes is, it will free up thousands of parking bays in hospital car parks! Is there a doctor in the house? F**k no!


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