Oh what a rotten time to be alive! I can cope with armed insurrections, terrorism, and domestic unrest, but a world shortage of cocoa beans is definitely hard to stomach! If chocolate is rationed, why I don’t know what I’m going to do to get by? But it gets worse! The UK is in the midst of a national biscuit shortage! United Biscuits ‘Biscuit Works’ factory in Carlisle which was flooded after storm Desmond hit the country, still isn’t up and running! What a perfect storm…a shortage of chocolate and biscuits! Entrepreneurs are holding biscuits to ransom and auctioning existing stocks on eBay! Believe it or not, some biscuits are even being sold as ‘pre-used, but in good condition’. Oh fuck, I wish I was dead, and by all accounts, I’m not alone in wishing me dead!